


Teenagers Sure Are Awkward

by catsnore



Series: Adventures in Teenagerdom [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Frottage, Humor, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:21:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsnore/pseuds/catsnore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to Hopes and Revelations, this time with more hormones and ineptitude.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Instagram

> Be John.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are 17 YEARS OLD. You are currently visiting your BRAND NEW BOYFRIEND, DAVE STRIDER. The problem right now is that he’s AT WORK, because you didn’t give him a head’s up before visiting. You are BORED SHITLESS. You have to keep yourself busy until… what time is it? Shit you have like another hour left.

You’ve already watched Gone in 60 Seconds (by yourself of course because Dave refuses to watch it together. Bluh), and you’ve set up various pranks around his room in wait. Just because you’re together now doesn’t mean anything. Pranking will always be there. You have a bucket on the door, a whoopee cushion under the covers on the bed, and a joy buzzer in your sylladex that really wants to meet Dave’s hand. Intimately.

Hehehe.

You can’t text him because he might get in trouble for answering his phone at work, and you don’t want that to happen! You smile and flop onto the ground. You never thought that liking someone would make you this happy! You were happy with your ex-girlfriend, but not like this.

> John: Recap on the past couple of days.

Ok so when you first visited Dave, you realized that you might be more homosexual than you’d originally thought. That was ok, though, because when you think about it, your crush on Nic Cage was pretty homosexual too. Is. That crush is a thing that is never going away, ever. He’s just… perfect. One day you will meet him and he will talk to you and it will be so awesome. Oh goodness you are tearing up. Reign it in, John.

Anyway, you and Dave started kissing and stuff on Sunday when you began your visit. That was two days ago. You’re not leaving until Saturday, so your visit has just started. Yesterday, you and Dave went to a diner on an ironic date. It was ironic because Dave had a bow in his hair. You split a milkshake because you thought it would be a good date thing to do! Plus you wanted the people giving you funny looks from the next booth to get mad. At the end, he got down on one knee and proposed to you with a ring pop, so of course you had to propose back with an onion ring! You never asked him how he got the ring pop, though, even though you never saw him leave to get it. On the way back to his apartment, he rapped his feelings for you, but you had to stop him because he was getting graphic and you were getting embarrassed. He’s so weird! Hehehe.

When you got back, you played a bunch of shitty video games and kissed. You beat him a couple times, but you’re not sure whether he lost on purpose or not. Whatever, it still counted. The two of you had a contest going to see who could make the games glitch the most, and you’re pretty sure he’d done this before because he knew all the secrets. He ended up winning that contest by a long shot, so he got a pie in the face for that. He said you were the worst boyfriend ever, but you’re pretty sure you made up for it when you cleaned his face off for him.

John: Do something to occupy yourself until Dave gets back.

You decide to wait for him downstairs on the couch. At least the couch is more comfy than sitting on the floor. Yeah you’re just gonna zone on the couch for a while.

> John: That’s too boring. Go be Dave.

You are now Dave. You are 17 YEARS OLD, and on your way home from your SHITTY-ASS JOB. You smell like OIL and GREASE and it SUCKS BALLS. This is normal, though, because your job requires standing over a DEEP-FRYER for 7 FUCKING HOURS. Even your shades are covered in grease. That is not cool at all.

> Dave: Remember that John is at your house.

You’ve been thinking about John all day. It’s the reason you didn’t add hot sauce to that douchebag’s burger when he made a comment about your ass. You do have a choice ass, but 50-year-old assholes need to step off. Complete with the z-snaps and everything. Thinking about Egbert at home waiting for you really kept you calm. And also kept you from doing something stupid.

You wonder what John did to occupy himself at your place all day. Dumbass, if he’d told you he was going to visit, you would’ve called off work for the entire week. He’s probably set up some kind of prank for you or something. He’s kind of predictable like that. But honestly you don’t really want to deal with those right now because you’re moody and smell like vegetable oil.

==>

You pull into the apartment parking lot and go upstairs to your place. God you need a shower. And there’s the star of your show himself, lying on the couch with his feet in the air. What a dork. Your poker face survives the surge of affection you feel. Stay cool.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: hey dave! welcome back.  
DAVE: whats the deal  
DAVE: why are you sitting like that  
JOHN: i got bored. whew you smell bad!  
DAVE: nice to see you too babe  
DAVE: i hate to say goodbye so soon but i need a shower like hipsters need instagram  
JOHN: what’s instagram?  
DAVE: youre better off not knowing

You toss your wallet on the coffee table. He pops up off the couch with a big grin on his beautiful face. You refuse to use the word ‘beautiful’ when describing him. That’s way too gay, seriously. You’re going to pretend you never thought of that. Besides he has huge teeth, and you think they’re dumb who are you kidding you love them. Poker face, Dave, come on.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: you look pissed off. bad day?  
DAVE: this is my normal face egbert  
DAVE: the vegetable oil is a temporary addition  
JOHN: oh, before you go! i got you some apple juice.  
DAVE: really  
DAVE: have you opened it yet  
JOHN: nope! what kind of boyfriend do you think i am?

Your stomach does a little flip when he says boyfriend. Fuck why are you so uncool? You can’t let him find this out. He can't know how lame you are.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: take a drink first  
JOHN: jeeze, fine, don’t trust me.

>John: Take a drink.

It’s just apple juice. Jeeze. You didn’t even do anything to it! What’s wrong with greeting your boyfriend with a cold bottle of apple juice after a long day at work? He looks pissed. You might want to get rid of those pranks in his room… Shit.

You drink the apple juice and resist the urge to BLUH because he’s probably not in the mood. Ha. It’s regular juice, but you already knew this because you didn’t prank it!

> John: Explain how you came to like Dave.

Well you probably liked him for a while if you really think about it. You always liked talking to him and stuff. Before you met him, you always had an idea that he was way dorkier than he always acted, and when you met him you realized that it was true! He really is a weirdo. Even though he’s still a “coolkid.” He won’t eat foods that have clashing colors in the same meal and he lets birds fly in and out of his room. He keeps dead things in jars, he reads really crappy My Little Pony fanfiction out loud in complete deadpan, he walks around in underwear and socks, and he sings songs in different languages while in the shower. And he knows really random nasty trivia and pretends that his actual interests are just irony because he doesn’t want anyone to see through him to how dorky he is.

Jeeze, he is so adorable! He makes you feel really happy whenever he’s around. Plus you’ve been through a lot together, so you can’t really imagine being with anyone else. Really, you’re kind of dumb for not noticing your feelings before this. You’re hoping to go to college with him, though you haven’t really expressed that yet. Maybe you’ll be roommates. That would be so cool.

> John: Imagine what it would be like to be Dave’s roommate.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: what are all the post-it notes here for, dave?  
DAVE: green means safe  
JOHN: safe from wha-  
DAVE: yellow means were planning to do shit there  
JOHN: huh?  
DAVE: red means be careful we had sex here recently  
JOHN: dave, there’s a red one in the mini-fridge!  
DAVE: i dont want people touching shit inside our fridge ok

Yeah. So cool. Wait you’re assuming you’d have had sex by then! Bluh! Way to move fast, John, jeeze! Wait, would that count as living together because now you’re boyfriends? You don’t even know! Ok, you need to calm down, this is ridiculous. You two are still in high school, and there are pressing issues at hand.

> John: Get those pranks out of Dave’s room, stat.

You run upstairs because Dave is definitely not going to appreciate a bucketful of water on his head today. Noooooooo way. Not saying that he’s not going to get it later. You don’t answer his questions of where you’re going. That would take too long and besides what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!!

> Dave: Text your bro and see where the fuck he is.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began texting timaeusTestified [TT]\--  
TG: bro im home from work  
TT: Thanks for letting me know, little bro.  
TG: i thought we agreed not to use that name anymore  
TG: now that im three fucking inches taller than you  
TT: I don’t recall agreeing to anything like that.  
TT: Anyway, I won’t even be back tonight, so you two have the place all to yourselves.  
TT: The condoms are in the bathroom. Use protection.  
TG: fuck you  
TT: You’re welcome, little man.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased texting turntechGodhead [TG]\--

You’re ok with Bro not coming home tonight. He’s probably gonna hit the bars and pick up dudes and chicks. Living out his midlife crisis or some shit. You’re just glad he’s alive again. Even if he’s a total asshole and keeps hiding condoms in your room, it really sucked when he was dead.

By the way, you and John are not going to have sex tonight. Well. Not penetrative sex, at any rate. That would just be pushing it way too goddamn far. Shit. You’re pretty sure neither of you are ready for that at this point, and that’s fucking fine with you. Jesus. You’re not even sure if he’s into that. You really aren’t too into it yourself. Just to clarify that right away.

> Dave: Stop talking about sex and give more details about life after Sburb.

You just barely beat it. Fuck. Three fucking years of that shit. After you woke up, you were back in your rooms. And thirteen again. It was like none of it had ever happened. If you didn’t still have all your shit from the game, you’d have thought it was the longest, most fucked up dream in any universe. All the people who’d died were back. Rose immediately told everyone to write everything down to help make sense of it, but you just wanted to forget about it. Of course there was no way that was ever going to happen, especially since you all still had your god-tier powers. Must have been a consolation prize for going through all that shit.

Going back to school was almost the weirdest, aside from the initial “what the everloving fuck just happened” moment right at the beginning. The four of you had to learn how to function in normal society again, except for Jade, who had never really experienced that in the first place. It was probably hardest for John to go back to normal, since he had the most cheerful personality beforehand. His dad actually tried to send him to therapy, but he wouldn’t go. The therapist wouldn’t have believed him anyway, which would not have been good. He eventually got better, but you know he still has nightmares about it and shit. So do you, honestly. But you were already an introverted asshole before the game, so you didn’t change much.

> Dave: Time to clean that nasty oil shit off your face.

Hell yes.


	2. Early Menopause is a Bitch

> John: Successfully de-prank Dave’s bedroom.

Check! All the pranks are currently safe inside your sylladex, where nothing can go wrong. You’re basically a master of your sylladex by now. Oh hey someone’s texting you.

> John: Respond to texts.

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] began texting ectoBiologist [EB]\--  
TT: Jade told me the news.  
TT: Congratulations on your new relationship with Dave, John.  
EB: she told you? aw man, i wanted dave to do it!  
TT: Why is that?  
EB: just because he looked uncomfortable when i mentioned it. hehehe  
TT: You seem to have come to terms with your feelings for Dave quite smoothly.  
EB: yeah, i think so!  
EB: i mean, aside from kissing and stuff, there wasn’t much to adjust to.  
TT: Is that so? Please, explain.  
EB: i just mean that we’ve been best friends for a long time, so this isn’t super different!  
EB: also i think i liked him for a long time before i finally realized it.  
TT: Yes, well, I could have told you that.  
EB: yeah, jade said something like that too.  
TT: In any case, what’s important is that the two of you are happy together.  
EB: we are! at least, we have been for a couple of days.  
TT: I must say, I’m pleasantly surprised that you’re accepting your attraction to men. What are your thoughts?  
EB: well… i mean, just because i like men doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with me. plus it doesn’t mean i don’t like girls too! i just like them both, which is totally fine.  
TT: That’s very mature of you, John. I’m impressed.  
EB: hehe, thanks.  
EB: i need to go, though. dave’s coming back.  
TT: We can go into the finer details of the gender and sexuality spectrums later, then.  
TT: Send Dave my regards.  
EB: i will!  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased texting tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

> John: Greet Dave.

Actually he’s not out of the shower yet. You just made an excuse to stop texting Rose, because you were starting to get kind of embarrassed. You didn’t think you were saying anything particularly mature, but you’re not really good at this stuff. You’re still pretty new to this. You haven’t even told your dad yet!

Ohhhhhhh shit you haven’t told your dad yet. Uh. You might want to do that soon. Or maybe when you get back? You know he won’t really care, but still. It’ll be an awkward conversation. Bluh. You’re gonna put that off until you go back.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: hey  
JOHN: how did your bro react to you coming out?  
DAVE: youre really good at these questions from left field this week huh  
JOHN: sorry…  
DAVE: can i put on a shirt first or do i have a time limit  
JOHN: you can put on your shirt first.  
DAVE: thanks

> John: Get an eyeful of that before it’s gone.

You’re a little embarrassed to do this. But you really do want to look…

> John: Just do it sneakily so he doesn’t notice.

Ok you can do that. Hehehehe oh he caught you looking oh jeeze. You are so embarrassed! But you can’t let him know that, so you just give him a cheesy grin and waggle your eyebrows a bit.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: jesus tits egbert do you think that face is sexy or something  
JOHN: … maybe?  
DAVE: it was not  
DAVE: at all  
JOHN: whatever, you just don’t know what sexy is!  
DAVE: i am the definition of sexy of course i know what it is  
JOHN: whatever. your shirt is on now and i’m not making the face anymore.  
JOHN: so you should answer my question!

He shakes his head and sits on the bed beside you. You think you can see a slight smirk on his face, but you can’t really tell. He pats your shoulder a couple times.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: it wasnt a big deal man  
DAVE: he told me he was glad we had something in common  
JOHN: in common? really?  
DAVE: yeah he told me it was great to bond over our mutual love  
DAVE: of taking it up the ass  
JOHN: asdfs-what??  
DAVE: and then he gave me a shitton of condoms and lube thats supposed to be tingly or some shit  
JOHN: taking it up the ass?? was he kidding?  
DAVE: hell if i know  
JOHN: … have you ever… you know…  
JOHN: done that?  
DAVE: nope  
JOHN: ok… i was just wondering!  
DAVE: its fine dude no need for secrets between us  
JOHN: ok. so would you ever want to… do that?  
DAVE: forget what i just said  
DAVE: because that question is way too nosy for relationship day three  
JOHN: hehe dave i think you’re blushing!  
DAVE: nope  
DAVE: fuck you youre blushing too

He’s totally blushing. Ok maybe you’re blushing too because that was a really awkward question to ask now that you think about it. Why did you think that was a good idea? Because it was not.

> Dave: Abscond.

You are not absconding ok you’re just thirsty. There’s an entire bottle of apple juice that John offered you and you need to drink it before someone does something to it.

You abscond.

> John: Stop blushing and get over your awkwardness.

You cannot do that! You’re a teenager. It’s part of your job description. You clear your throat awkwardly because that really was kind of a douchebag question to ask on your third day of dating! Even if you were kind of curious.

You have to admit you’re curious about what his answer would have been.

> John: Fantasize about that shit.

You’re too embarrassed to imagine that right now. Even though you’re pretty sure that Dave would be sooooo hot in bed. Actually the thought of getting on top of him and doing stuff sounds really appealing to you. You wonder if his face would get all flushed because that would be adorable. You also wonder if he’d keep his shades on or not. You wouldn’t want him to keep his shades on. You wonder if he’d let you push him onto the bed and kiss him so hard he whimpers into your mouth. Or tease him by touching him so gently he squirms underneath you to try and get more friction while making all sorts of lewd sounds.

Ok you really need to stop this before things get out of hand. Dave would never act like that anyway: he is not a pornstar. You get up off the bed and stick your head down by the air conditioner.

Maybe you shouldn’t have watched all that porn while you were waiting for him to get back. Oops.

> Dave: Go back upstairs.

You walk into your bedroom to find John bending over the air conditioner with his butt in the air. You’re sorry to admit that this isn’t the first time you’ve caught him doing something like this. You have no idea what he’s doing though.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: john what the hell  
JOHN: oh! i didn’t hear you come upstairs.  
JOHN: hehehe sorry  
DAVE: what are you doing  
JOHN: cooling my face off.  
DAVE: its not even hot in here  
JOHN: it was hot enough for me to cool my face off!

You have to admit, he’s pretty amusing. He still hasn’t stood up.

> Dave: Check out that choice ass.

Oh you’ve been doing that this entire time. You’re making up for all the time that was wasted not looking at John’s ass all those years. No holds barred anymore. You’ve touched it, so no matter how inappropriately you look, it’s entirely ok. You’ve been given a pass to that ass. Hell yeah.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: are you planning on standing up  
DAVE: cause not gonna lie im enjoying the view  
JOHN: i’m still hot.  
DAVE: i agree  
JOHN: bluh, dave, not like that!  
DAVE: i know what you meant

You watch as he stands up. Was he having a hot flash or something?

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: early menopause is a bitch aint it  
JOHN: huh?  
DAVE: never mind  
JOHN: how did you come out to bro?  
DAVE: what do you mean how  
DAVE: i just did it

He takes your hand and looks down at them without saying anything.

==>

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: you afraid to come out to your dad or something  
JOHN: a little…  
DAVE: you know he wont care right  
JOHN: i know, i just… what if he’s disappointed?  
DAVE: he wont be  
JOHN: what if he asks a ton of weird questions?  
DAVE: he might  
DAVE: so what  
JOHN: oh no, what if he gives me the safe sex talk?  
DAVE: tell me if he does that  
DAVE: that would be hilarious

> John: Ponder that statement.

You don’t think it would be that funny! He’d probably prank you or something. Or bake a cake that says something like “Congratulations on entering into a homosexual relationship with your former best friend, now boyfriend.” You don’t know how he does it.

You have a feeling he’ll be ok, but you’re still nervous. Coming out is a big deal, you were always told. And since you just became aware of your homosexual tendencies, it’s even more of a big deal.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: hey  
DAVE: itll be ok

He kisses your forehead. Wow, that was really sweet of him. That’s not very usual for him. He must really like you. You make sure not to point it out to him, though, cause then he might not do that stuff anymore. Thinking about how much he likes you makes you smile, and you turn towards him.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: oh yeah, did you like your juice?  
DAVE: way to change the subject  
JOHN: that’s not what i’m doing!  
JOHN: i actually want to know!  
DAVE: whatever you say  
JOHN: well?  
DAVE: yeah i did  
DAVE: wanna taste

> John: Determine what he meant.

You’re pretty sure he didn’t mean that he’d pour you a glass. You’re pretty sure he meant something like kissing. Oh god. You don’t know how to react to that. You’re not really used to Dave saying things like this and meaning it. He’s always said weird sort-of come ons, but he never meant them. Or maybe he always did? Wow that’s actually a possibility. That’s a little embarrassing. You feel kind of dumb for not picking up on that sooner. You’re kind of dumb.

You decide that he means kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fantasies are so awkward for me to write. I hope that wasn't too painfully obvious.


	3. Slime Ghost vs. He-Man

> John: Respond.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: yeah, sure i do!  
DAVE: brace yourself  
DAVE: this shit is off the hook

He kisses you softly and you close your eyes. He does taste like apple juice, which is not your favorite, but it’s a lot better because it’s Dave. You turn your head to keep kissing, but your glasses clack against his shades and they kind of dig into the bridge of your nose. Ow.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: ok that’s not working.  
DAVE: yeah  
JOHN: i’ll just take my glasses off.  
JOHN: you should take yours off too.  
DAVE: ugh fine make me lose my cool  
JOHN: oh, please, you were never cool to begin with.  
JOHN: besides you took them off yesterday, so stop being a baby.  
DAVE: you’re about to lose kissing privileges egbert  
JOHN: hehe, oh hush, no i won’t.  
DAVE: you want to test me on that

> Dave: Revoke kissing privileges.

Nah, you’re not even a little interested in that. Egbert’s lucky you like kissing him more than you hate being uncool, cause otherwise you’d stop. You take both your shades and his glasses off, and toss them aside. Alright, time to get back to kissing.

> John: Sloppy makeouts time go!  
Man you really do love making out with Dave. Especially right now when his skin is clean and smells good. You love kissing him because he’s surprisingly shy and it’s so cute. You could just kiss him forever, really. You don’t know why you were so afraid about this for so long because it’s awesome. He starts to push up your shirt and runs his fingers down your sides. He puts enough pressure with his fingernails that they don’t really scratch but that feels really good wow. For a second you remember how your ex-girlfriend kept her fingernails really long and ugh that would not have felt good if she had done that.

You’re not even thinking about what to do. You kiss his neck because he makes a really hot sound when you do that. He groans softly into your ear and grabs your ass to pull you against him holy shit you did not know that a guy hissing into your ear would be so sexy but it is oh god. You’re pretty sure that he should take his shirt off now, so you start tugging on it.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: gasp egbert you are being so forward  
DAVE: will you still respect me in the morning  
DAVE: i dont want to lose my shirt virginity for nothing  
JOHN: shut up and take your shirt off, dave.  
DAVE: ill take my shirt off on my own termmmphf  
JOHN: thanks!  
DAVE: ok theres no way in hell that ill be the only shirtless one here  
DAVE: all for one and one for all  
DAVE: equal rights and that kinda shit  
DAVE: off with it asap bro  
JOHN: hehe be patient!  
DAVE: nope

He pulls your shirt over your head before you have a chance to protest, and you guess you kind of deserved that. You both shut up then, because it’s way more important to get back to kissing than talking. 

==>

His skin feels fantastic against your own. Like. Every time his skin brushes against yours it makes you feel all tingly and awesome. His hands go back to your ass and it kind of weirds you out that it feels good when he grabs it. But you’re not complaining! You grind your hips forward against his and he makes this really great, low sound and oh that went straight to your dick. Holy shit he is really hot when he bites his lower lip like that like he’s trying not to make any sounds because coolkids don’t make sounds but he can’t even help it. You’re kissing and sucking on his collarbone because hey it seemed like a good idea and you’re pretty sure he likes it because of the way his breath is kind of heavy and ragged.

Ok where is his hand going oh it is on your crotch. Oh and he is rubbing you right there holy shit what do you do because that feels really good. Your hands kind of curl up and you stop kissing his neck because you’re just too caught up in feelings to do much at the moment.

He asks you if it feels good and you’re sure he has to be kidding. Why wouldn’t it feel good?? But his question helps you focus a little so you can start touching him too. Plus that’s kind of a better answer you’re pretty sure. You try to imitate the way he’s touching you because he’s doing a really good job of it and you think it’s working because he’s doing that sound thing again and is it hot in here or is it just you? Sheesh.

You’re into enough of a routine that you can start kissing again. Whoever invented tongue kissing was a genius because when he flicks his tongue behind your teeth you kind of melt so you kind of suck on his tongue and he moans in your mouth. Holllyyyy shitttt.

Ok it is time to take your pants off. He agrees with you because he starts unzipping your jeans. Jeeze you never thought zippers were hard to undo before but his pants are not cooperating right now. Of course he isn’t having any problems with yours and now he’s smirking. Yup your pants are already around your knees and god damn it this zipper must have something against you. What did you ever do to it to make it hate you??

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: slime ghost boxers john really  
JOHN: shut up, i didn’t think you’d see my underwear this week!  
JOHN: and you have no room to talk! you’re wearing skinny jeans!  
DAVE: yeah they make my ass look hot as hell  
DAVE: fuck be careful with your hands around my junk its pretty fucking important  
JOHN: your zipper is stupid.   
DAVE: christ egbert its just a zipper  
DAVE: its not that hard  
JOHN: hehe you said hard  
DAVE: fuck you  
DAVE: here ill do it  
JOHN: … ok your underwear is not even any better.  
DAVE: makes you want to take it off faster doesnt it

He’s wearing He-Man boxers and admittedly you do want to take them off but mostly because you want them away from you before you get turned off by them. He-Man’s sword is pointing right up at you from Dave’s crotch and it’s really weird. You decide you’re already mostly naked so might as well go all the way. Off with the muscular hero undies! Holy shit it hits you what you’re actually about to do. You’ve never done this before.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: should we, uh, move or something?  
DAVE: the bed would be good yeah

You both stumble to the bed because neither of you really want to let go of the other. You look down and see Dave’s dick just out there like hey john nice to meet you and it’s a little intimidating honestly. You only see it for a moment before you both fall on the bed all tangled up in each other.

==>

Ouch his elbow kind of whacked your shoulder and you’re pretty sure you almost kneed him in the stomach. Mental note: falling to the bed in a heap is not nearly as smooth and passionate in real life as it is in movies. It only takes a few seconds to get coordinated which is good because you want to go back to kissing and touching and rubbing against him and stuff. He starts pushing your underwear off of your hips which is kind of difficult since you’re on your side. After a bit of awkward wiggling, you manage to help him and he tosses your underwear away all dramatically. That’s a little dorky of him, you think, but you’re pretty sure he thinks it’s an ironic thing to do.

You keep kissing and touching and at first you’re a little embarrassed about the way your hips want to move against him, but then you kind of remember that thrusting and rubbing is totally normal. Oh yeah. You’ve never done this before, ok?? Doing this sideways is a little awkward, though. Maybe it would be better if you changed positions.

You get up on your knees to move on top of him and shit is he trying to jack you off?? Shit you feel your back arch a bit and you have to support yourself with one hand before you fall over. Oh god you’re gonna fall over!

You push away his hand and get on top of him.

> Dave: Keep going.

Fuck. John is climbing on top of you. The weight of his body pressing down on you is so fucking sexy and the way he moans when you grab his hips and grind up against him is so hot you’re about to lose it fuck. His fingers curl into the sheets by your head to steady himself and he keeps moving because he wants the friction as much as you do.

Shit this is fucking great you don’t even care about the sounds you’re making. He has his forehead against your shoulder and you can feel his breath on your skin as he thrusts down oh god you do not think you can take much more of this. Shit you’re moving at different paces you should have more rhythm than this, but it’s his first time so what were you expecting, perfection? You grab his hips again to try and coordinate the speed and timing of both your thrusts and oh yeah that’s a lot better.

He whimpers and you know he’s close. You’re close too. You can feel your muscles tense up to prepare yourself and then he stiffens and cries out against the skin on your chest. His muscles spasm and twitch and you feel wetness on your stomach oh god he is so beautiful and then you’re coming too and god fuck shit _John_. You’re half aware that your fingernails are digging into his skin and you’re wearing the least cool expression ever but fuck you don’t even care because you feel so awesome. Fuck.

 

>John: Fully understand what you just did.

Oh wow you and Dave totally just had sex oh god. This counts as sex, right? You’re pretty sure this counts as sex! It felt like sex to you, just saying. Why do you keep saying the word sex?? You have never done this before. Ok, John, you don't regret this so stop freaking out.

> John: Bask in your afterglow.

You let out a long breath as you come down from your orgasm. Shit you made a mess all over both him and yourself. But he did too so you don’t feel bad. In fact you feel all calm, warm, & fuzzy, which is nice. You curl up beside him and he runs his fingers through your hair gently. That feels really nice. You kiss his shoulder softly and sigh.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: hehe we’re all sticky.  
DAVE: i dont give a shit  
DAVE: i dont think you can fathom the amounts of shit i dont give  
DAVE: oceans of shit  
JOHN: dave, you’re ruining the mood.  
DAVE: right

You giggle a little because laying here with him makes you happy. He pulls the cover over your shoulders as you both start to cool down. You can’t decide whether you want to fall asleep or not, because you are starting to feel tired, but cuddling in bed with him is so nice that you don’t want to miss it. Aw man this reminds you of the song from Armageddon. Good movie. Best song. You remind yourself to play the song for him later. You’re pretty sure that’s going to be your song, if boyfriend couples have songs. Hell, even if they don’t, you two are going to.

It’s so rare for Dave to let his defenses down and relax like this, too, so you feel like you’re privy to some really exclusive information right now. It’s pretty cool.

You yawn and nuzzle him a little, and he kisses your head. You kiss him a couple more times, but it’s getting hard to remember what to do. Your head is getting fuzzy and your eyes keep closing and stuff, which sucks because you kind of want to kiss him forever! Maybe you’re more tired than you originally thought! That’s ok, though. He can tell you’re getting tired, you think, because he stops kissing you. You mumble goodnight and drift off. After snuggling into his chest, of course.

> Dave: Reflect.

Holy shit you and John just had sex. You’re still sort of reeling from that. He fucking climbed on top of you. You’ve never let anyone do that before because you really can’t stand the thought of anyone dominating you in bed. But with John you never thought of it that way, really. It seemed more even like this. You’re so awesome that sometimes you need to let him have his turn too, anyway. You are so fucking considerate.

That’s totally the only reason you let him do that by the way.

You kiss the top of his head softly again as he sleeps. Fuck, you’d never live it down if anyone saw you do that. Maybe you should clean up the room a bit. Your clothes are everywhere and somehow John’s boxers ended up hanging from your closet door. Ha. Sweet catch. Fuck, you really don’t want to get out of bed, but it’s a little hot and he’s surprisingly heavy. Where are your shades anyway? Hell if you know. Probably the same place John’s glasses went. Fuck.

God this boy is so… you don’t know, you’re bad at compliments. He’s inconsiderate, a douchebag, and clueless, but he’s adorable? It’s hard to explain. You’re the time guy, not the feelings chap. You drift in and out of consciousness for a while, but you're still too shocked that you and John had sex to fully sleep.

He shifts and you focus on him immediately. He’s frowning a little in his sleep. Hey. He’s not supposed to be dreaming about something shitty while you’re in bed together. What the fuck. You’re not sure whether you should wake him up or not. A slight breeze ruffles his hair, even though there are no open windows. Yeah, that happens when he’s about to have a nightmare. You know this because of the last time he came over to visit. Alright, time to get up, Egbert. You shake him awake quickly.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
DAVE: hey  
DAVE: john wake up  
DAVE: youre not allowed to sleep if its gonna ruin your mood  
DAVE: this is a nightmare-less zone here  
JOHN: urrrrgh but i’m sleepy.  
JOHN: how long was i out?  
DAVE: bout a half hour  
JOHN: nnnn i feel kinda gross  
DAVE: yeah ive been thinking about a shower  
DAVE: or wiping down with a rag or some shit  
JOHN: here’s the box of tissues.  
DAVE: how the fuck did you get that

He grins and blows gently on your face like he’s reminding you that he can still do the windy thing duh. Little bastard. You didn't even hear the box fly over. He giggles when your hair blows back from your face and then flops into your eyes. This is not amusing. You use a tissue to wipe you both off, and then crumple it up and drop it on his face with a smirk.

\--Show Dialoglog--  
JOHN: bluh dave that’s gross!!  
DAVE: my hand slipped  
JOHN: oh, you are going to get it now, mister!  
DAVE: i doubt that  
DAVE: you didnt even get anything on your face its all on the inside of the ball  
JOHN: you’re still gross. i need to wash my face.  
DAVE: here have a tissue

You throw a clean tissue on his face and rub it around a bit. He splutters and is about to say something again but you cut him off with a kiss. There, a quick way to calm down an Egbert. It’s working because he’s kissing you again now.

Yeah you have no intentions of leaving this bed anytime soon. Which is cool with you, because you pretty much have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written a scene like this before ever, so any comments and critiques would be great! Thanks for reading.


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